“You can’t be an important and life-changing presence for some people without also being a joke and an embarrassment to others.”-The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*uck
This quote speaks volumes to me. It is a reminder that trying to please everyone is a loss cause. It will never happen. There will always be those who disapprove of your life choices, but in the end it is your life. Trust me, you are an inspiration to someone just the way you are! You are also the villain in someone’s story!
One thing weighing heavy on my mind me these days, is the urge to be completely free of all social constructs . To live my life the way I see fit. How amazing would that be? Living on my own terms. Only allow positivity in my life and being who I am no matter what!
We hold ourselves back from reaching our potential when we aren’t our true selves.
In the movie, “Private Parts”, Howard Stern realizes in order to truly be great, he had to just be himself. He had to break through the negativity . There were so many that despised what he did but he kept doing it his way. In the movie he quits his mediocre job as a disk jockey at a country music station with nothing lined up, but he knew he was destine for something more.
I recall the scene where he has this epiphany. He is discussing his reasons for leaving a mediocre job and realizes what he must do going forward.
Howard says, “It’s so apparent to me now what I should be doing. I should be talking about my personal life. I’ve got to get intimate. And every time I feel like I shouldn’t say something, maybe I should just blurt it out, you know? I just got to let things fly. I got to go all the way!”
In that moment, Howard realizes that the only way he was going to achieve success and contentment is to “go all the way”. He couldn’t fake it.
If you know anything about Stern, you know how this story ends. Whether you love him or hate him, his show was an extreme success and paved the way for so many who came after. He had no fucks to give.
I absolutely loved the book, The Art of Not Giving a F*ck! Essentially, its mantra is not to give a fuck about anything that is not worth giving a fuck about. You only have so many fucks to give, after all and you don’t want to just waste fucks on anything and everything. People are going to talk! Let them. If you have not read the book, check it out. Highly recommended.
Lily and I are adults. We love who we are and who we have become in our nearly 25 years together. We are not ashamed of our life and how we choose to live it. Ok maybe Lily is a little, but why should we be, why hide it? I don’t like to be fake to people. Perhaps we simply need to spend time with only those whom we don’t have to wear a mask around.
If you have “friends” who are not comfortable with your life choices, they don’t need to be in your story. Kill off some characters in your story! If the Walking Dead can do it, so can you! (DO NOT ACTUALLY KILL PEOPLE). Leave them behind and pursue your happiness.
A friend of mine likes to, “Filter” people. It’s as if she is sifting for gold. You get a shit ton of rocks before you ever grasp that morsel of fortune. It makes sense. There are so many people in this world. Meet them! Go on all the dates! Try everything that interests you. Don’t just dream about it. Go fucking do it! You might make amazing friends, lovers, sex partners! Sure, you won’t click with everyone, so filter them out!
I understand the need to hide this lifestyle from family, co-workers, PTO Karens. But let them open their closets. Everyone has something and if they don’t they really need to get out more often.
I recently told my younger brother that we are swingers. At the time, Lily had a boyfriend and I was seeing someone separately as well. We were dabbling in the poly world a bit. It’s been a crazy fucking start to the year! So much has happened. We will have to save that for another time.
When I decided to tell my brother, I felt I needed someone close to me to know. He had confided in me when he found out he was to be a father unexpectedly, before he told our parents. It felt good to bond with him that way. To let him into my world a little more. There was a sense that he would be ok with it. I am not bringing him to any parties, although I am sure as a single guy he would appreciate it, but it feels good to be accepted by family no matter how twisted or unusual they your choices may be.
He said that he never expected to be jealous that his older married brother gets more pussy than he does. I found that to be both eye opening and kind of awesome.
One of our on going agreements is to always keep our vanilla world separate from our LS world. For good reason of course. We have children. We don’t ever want them to be shunned or treated differently because of the choices we make in our personal lives.
When it is only our sex life, then it really doesn’t make sense to open up about it to anyone. It is no one’s business what goes on behind closed doors. However, in the last few months, our experiences have shifted our views. Is it so wrong to be out to dinner with someone else? What if we get caught? What difference does it make? We aren’t cheating. We aren’t doing anything harmful. So long as we are ok with it, it really makes none at all.
Going forward the intent is to share more about ourselves. We haven’t even touched the surface.
Some “friends” may get filtered out in the process, but those who remain and rise to the top will be the ones worth keeping.
So we now realize this blog was created for selfish reasons. Writing these words will help to discover those who are meaningful to us and we will surround ourselves with an abundance of love.
Perhaps one day, some confused person or persons may stumble upon this and find clarity through empathy. To see that there are many ways to love and live. They might realize the kink they hid wasn’t so unusual and there are many people who are the same and are unapologetic about it. Why do they get to not give a fuck? I want to stop giving a fuck too!
Now am I going to go out tomorrow and shout from the roof tops that we are swingers and my wife and I have sex with other people? No. We are just not there yet. We will share more and more here and slowly, perhaps we build the courage to tell others. Then we can stop caring, stop worrying, stop giving a fuck and just be us.
Hope yall stick around! Likely going to be a wild ride.
As always, if there is a topic you would like discussed or a question you have, please send it, we will try to respond or perhaps cover the question in an entry.
Thanks for reading!
Swing Open 
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